Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in remeard's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
5:15 pm	Ha ha I so funny "update you LJ bitch" ~ Cody Lamar Sanders (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 10th, 2005
10:58 pm	[ Between Mice And Men ] Black water rising from hell sending all the precious gold out to see.  Within the short distance of a day the world changed as citys washed way.  Among which was the city where I was reborn in, New Orleans.  Every time I've been it was just incredable, you can't help but to absorb the atmosphere, the marching bands at midnight, twenty four hour bars with artists who can go just as long, the curbiside guitarist who lives off tips.  I dreamed of living there some day, I knew it was an almost impossible dream, but thats how the city made you feel, you wanted to live there.  Everymorning I'd eat at Cafe Du' Mon Te' which Christa saw on TV and it apparently was okay, which is odd because it's pretty close to the river... It's weird thinking about it, seeing hotels, hell, the room I stayed in completely obliviated.  In my head I imagine exactly what it was like in that 34th hyatt hotel window over looking The Superdome and the Miss. river. I remember that bridge, goddamn that bridge was so long.  I never would have imagined the streets I walked every night to be washed away, it doesn't hit you till you see it all.  I wish I could do something, but I really have to be careful with money for a while... Which brings me to now.  A few weeks ago, maybe three, my father fell off of a bluff.  a 40 foot drop and landed in a circle of boulders.  3 feet either side would have killed him, but someone, my fathers luck pulls through.  He was in the hospital for quite some time, I tried to visit as much as I can, but since gas prices were through the roof, I couldn't.  After a while he was transferred to syscan, and now he's home.  When he came in the house he was in tears, with a new appreciation for life and living, my dad had come back home. And I never thought I would say this, but I've missed his loud snoring. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
12:58 am	[ HOME ] ..what a week, I must say. So, I was the driver for Simone and Ben, as usual, but this time with Ben's mom, Mo.  Mo is a very interesting person, not quite like any other mother I've seen or talked to, she's very... youthful I suppose.  She's Ben's buddy, and just like him in a social manner, she can pretty much communicate with anyone without any trouble.  She's like any other of my friends, Ben does exactly the same thing in front that he would do in front of me, sometimes worse =P.  Very nice person, I'm going to miss her. Anyways, basicly the night of when I picked up Mo, one of my dearest pets died, Mistah Bunneh.  About a week ago from today, I fed him for the last time, it's been really hard, especialy when they want to go to a pet store...  It's just... I don't know, I loved him to death, the next day I was going to get him stuff to pimp out his cage, and maybe take him to the park the next time me and Christa had off... *Sigh* I loved him.  I buried him the next morning alongside my cat, Carnie.  I went about my day hiding it, calling Christa when I really started feeling it. Me and Christa haven't had much time together lately, whether it be work or having to take people somewhere, I hope I get off tommorow to see her. Debating if I should start a new character on Guild Wars, Remeard Tieresias is bad ass, I mean fucking god of war if you get down to it, but Cody is starting up soon and I've pretty much beatin the game, so I figure why not.  The archer side isn't exactly the best, and I have more necromancer skills on my table then anything else.  *shrug* might make a Necromancer/warrior, Necromancer primary definitly. It'll be fun. So, we went to the giant gibson shop in Nashville...  I got to hold my favorite guitar... Gibson Les Paul Custom, fucking beautiful, I would murder someone for the one Trent has, with the Fragile sticker on it...  It sells for around 5 thousand.. maybe some day I suppose.  Bought Tweaker:  2am wake up call, great CD. Anyways, at the shop, I played a 10,000 dollar acoustic guitar, custom made.  It was beautiful, and masterly crafted.  made out of the finest materials and no imperfections what so ever.  Everything was perfect.  When I got home, I picked up my, in comparison, nothing guitar.  And I realized something.  If everybody had a flawless guitar, if the standard was set that nothing is better than that, if it's considered invaluable if your insturment isn't up to par....  the world would be bland and boring.  I picked up my guitar and found it to be the perfect fit for me, I wouldn't trade it for the world. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
3:44 am	Concertina So.. I've seen three concerts within the week and a half, NIN and Bright Eyes (x2) Nine Inch Nails was fucking amazing, I didn't think I was going to get to go but, an angel named Julie saw my pleading did the right thing, selling it for face value, truely nice person.  Anyways, the opening act was The Dresden Dolls, a real treat for an opener, very cute piano/drum band, the drummer was by far the most animated one I've seen, making faces and playing along with the songs.... but NIN... goddamn NIN. 1. Beside you in time (intro over pa) 2. Wish 3. You know what you are 4. The line begins to blur 5. March of the pigs 6. piggy 7. Terrible LIe 8. BURN 9. closer (the only time) 10. reptile 11. Big Comedown (thank you!) 12. Gave up 13. The day the whole world went away (rocked) 14. Suck 15. Getting smaller 16. Even deeper 17. Love is not enough (suprised me a lot, very good) 18. Hurt 19. The hand that feeds 20. Head like a hole It was a fucking brawl.  They opened over the PA system with the ominous Beside You In Time, which long before the release of the album came out, is the track that got me so psyched up and eager for the album to come out.  It did just the same for this.  I heard it and I swear I must have been the only one to catch on.  I stopped what I was doing and looked up, the venue was unreal.  An old chruch, two balconys, enormous organs in the back, paintings all over the place....  I thought to myself, nothing can be more fitting then this, NIN in a chruch.  The heartbeat of the song sped up, and I suppose the drummer started timing himself with it, before I knew what was going to happen, they did what I never thought they'd do... open with Wish.  Wish fucking tore the place down, I had never been in such a chaoticly violent enviorment then when this song busted out, the mic didn't seem to work right, but the crowd sang everything right.  Unlike most bands that take breaks after songs, Trent went right in "You Know What You Are?", which I love a thousand times more now.  At the start of the show, I was about 20 or so human body rows from the front, my adventure forward began, I didn't make my way, I just bob and weaved from other pushing.  The Line Begins to Blur was almost a ballad, it was a welcome calm chaos, but still, moshing to the incredably distorted bass and drums... goddamn...  I forgot to mention the synth setup, that thing must have cost more than my life Alessandrio must know what he was doing back there, plugs, switches, keyboards galore, he even plays guitar!  Anyways, after TLBTB they fucking exploded.  Nothing could have warned me from the ultimate mosh song...  March of the Pigs.  I have never seen a crowd move like they did, it seemed they were all against eachother, but they moved as one whole being.  Of course, after this the fucking classic.  "Hey.... Pigs.... Hey pigs.... fuckers..."  Piggy.  Probably the funnest NIN song to sing along to.  Trent's mic broke, he threw it in the crowd, along with many-a-many water bottles, one of which hit my crotch.  I didn't know if i should be mad or honored that I was hit in my "special place" by Trent...I went with the latter, obviously.  When he got another mic he started yelling at the sound crew, "That's right, turn the mic on you mother fucking cocksuckers" "if anyone wants to join the road crew, come back stage".  The crowd was right on, bloody amazing.  Terrible Lie, no need to even discuss how bad ass it was, I get chills just thinking of it. Perfect fucking setlist, Burn was unexpected but a definite new classic in my mind "This world rejects me...." fucking amazing.  Closer... had to, loved it, still do.  Reptile...fucking Reptile...  words can't describe it, let's just say compared to this, the album version is tamed.  Trent even did a crucifiction rendition.  Big Come Down... good, but the bass needed to be odder.  TDTWWWA, fucking amazing as usual, Getting Smaller... funny as hell but equaly powerful, the crowd yelled out the opening verses "FLIP FLOP FLIP FLOP FLIP" xD!.  The last three were simply godly.  Hurt was done in piano, and couldn't have done better, Trent dedicated to a girl in the crowd who was her friend, she had cancer, so.. yeah.  The crowd sang alot of it, but gave respect to the most important ones.  I called Christa durring the Chorus which the crowd sung with him... It still gives me chills hearing an almost mantra... "You could have it all, My Empire of Dirt"...  So much better than ANY version I have EVER heard.  After a long silence something too familiar faded in...  The Hand That Feeds, fucking bad ass as ever, the calm was over and the storm was coming back for it's final showdown, the crowd exploded, I got within touching distance of the rail, and I could look Trent right in the eyes, we made eye contact throughout the entire show, which was chilling yet... honering I guess.  I figued the songs would go on forever, and I wouldn't have mind a bit, but Trent said thank you, goodnight, and broke off onto his classicl "Head Like A Hole", which I've never heard with such energy before.  Everything was perfect, at the end some guy got on top of the amps, Aaron North gave him his guitar and he jammed out on it, or at least looked like he was, then he gave it back and mooned the crowd, right...  Anyways,  Aaron North threw his guitar pick into the crowd it landed on some drunk guy next to me's arm, he didn't notice, me and some one else did, I tried stealthly grabbing for it, which didn't work, it fell to the ground, I dove.  my damn fingernails wouldn't get them so It took me a while, in the end I ended up being victorious. Best. fucking. show. ever. More to come. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 25th, 2005
7:31 am	rare precious moments I found the Three Libras single the other day at McKay's, inside it has an odd little story, but I love it. "Up until the mid twentieth century the mountain gorilla was considered a myth.  Oddly enough, a legend not unlike bigfoot or the loch ness monster, the chances of actualy seeing/experiencing this elusive shadow was as likely as finding ones soulmate. rare. precious even monce discovered they seemed unapproachable the only way to get close to this magnificent creature was to become empathetic, abandon all pretense and preconceptions to bare an open throat to collapse into the arms of vulnerabillity all but extinct, these beings/momens are threatened by the black hearted. the cold and oblivious. the empty eyed profit seekers that overlook these rare precious moments (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 27th, 2005
9:43 am	Wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt on Easter Sunday:  Priceless (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 5th, 2005
3:15 pm	? One thing that's been roaming across my mind the past few days and I can't seem to let it go...  Am I slow?  Mentaly of course, just many things that I've noticed that would lead up to the justification of this.  For one Christa always gets better grades than me on the tests in geometry, she hands in homework, etc etc.  I on the other hand, always turn in my homework, but do horrible on the tests.  How is it that I got a better grade than her?  Granted, it was only one point, but am I bieng subject to a pity grade?  I know I don't see things the same way as most people, some see in numbers and equations, I just can't seem to do that, which explains my grade, but still.  Today surveying it took me more than the time needed to get where I should be, "Come two tenths, Alright, now go four tenths,  come back two...  damnit Bob, go seven tenths."  Also, who would tell a person they were slow?  Do they simply figure it out such as I am? *Sigh* if it's not one thing it's another I suppose. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:50 am	The Thought I was close, so fucking close.  It seemed way to good to be true, and so it was.  Nine Inch Nails in Atlanta Georgia.  Presale:  On my birthday = failed within 5 minutes, mum's computer fucked up.  Presale:  99x:  Sold out within a minute or two.  That leaves around 1700 left tickets to be sold.  General Public Sale:  Sold out WITHIN THE FUCKING SECOND, I shit you not.  The bad part is, I promised two of my friends I would take them both nights and I'd take Rista one of the nights, I hate to dissapoint them.  I was going to pay for all thier tickets, give them rides, and maybe a hotel room, I know it may be a bit over my budget, around 200 bucks...alright, maybe 220 to be exact, but damnit.  'twas to good to be true I suppose.  Maybe if I got one at a time I woulda got them, bleh.  There's still hope for getting one ticket at least, on the NIN board I goto there's a bunch of people with extra tickets, honest people that'll sell them for a bit over face value (To copensate for the rape that happens to all ticket master customers).  Those kind souls might just be my ticket there. I miss Christa so much now.  Goddamn I'm pathetic. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005
12:09 am	Driving home on an extremely foggy night with the window down, your head sticking out the window equiped with the orange REZNOR goggles is incredably fun. One must try it (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 29th, 2005
11:30 pm	The Way Out Is Through Underneath It All We Feel So Small The Heavens Fall But Still We Crawl (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
10:39 pm	Wish You Were Here *sigh* I miss Christa, I've been lamenting over that for...  ever since she left.  Things take time to get to me, the death of my great grand-father, Christa going away.  I don't know why it's like that, maybe I've taught myself not to show a weakness at that moment....  I annalyze myself way to much. "Come on, who here hasn't went on a PCP binge and shot some cops up, COME ON!" Religion, funny thing it is.  Everybody want's to be everybody elses brother in religion but nobody wants to respect another person's belief.  You fuck up once, you've got a permanent X marked on your card, I was watching some Christian channel and they were asking people small things, that everyone has done, here's how it went... Interview:Do you think you're a good person, do you think you'll goto heaven? Person:  Yeah, I've been a nice person to others, yes, I think i'll goto heaven I:  Then let me ask you this, have you ever lied? P:  Yes, a few times I:  Do you hate anyone P:  Yes, few, but I do I: Have you ever loved a woman's looks? P:  I believe everyone is guilty for that I:  Have you ever used the lord's name in vein? P:  Aye, once... to myself, I felt horrible I:  Do you know what they call people that lie? P:  Liars... I:  And the lord considers hate as murder, so you are a murderer as well, you are guilty of adultry as well. P:  I am? I:  Do you know what Blasphemy is? P:  Yes.... I:  Well, you are a blasphemer, which is a horrible sin, now, do you think you're going into the gates now? P:  I...I don't know anymore. Congratu-fucking-lations, looks like you've defeated this mans entire life of acomplishments in one single minute.  No-matter what people do, no matter how good people are, the flaws always seemed to be highlighted more than the good things. ICP, haven't mentioned them much, but they're the only rap group (Along with most artists on Psychopathic records) who actualy fucking rock.  I've loved them for a long ass time, but just now getting back into them thanks to Sir Sethyerd.  Nice to analyze them if you care to. Current Music: Hell's Pit CD ~ Insane Clown Posse (Comment on this)
10:18 pm	See, I am an infection Which Horrible Affliction are you? A Rum and Monkey disease. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
10:39 pm	0100100101101110011000110110111101101101011010010110111001100111001000000100110101100101011100110111 0100100100100000010000010110110100100000010011000110111101110011011101000010000001001111011011100010000001010100011010000110010100100000010011110111010001101000011001010111001000100000010100110110100101100100011001010010110000100000010010010010000001000110011001010110000101110010001000000100011001101111011100100010000001001101011110010010000001001100011010010110011001100101001011100010000000100000010001010111011001100101011100100111100101110100011010000110100101101110011001110010000001001001011100110010000001000100011001010110000101100100001011000010000001000101011101100110010101110010011110010111010001101000011010010110111001100111001000000100100101110011001000000100001001101100011000010110001101101011001011100010000000100000010010010010000001000001011011010010000001000001011011000110111101101110011001010010000001000001011011100110010000100000010100110110001101100001011100100110010101100100001011000010000001000011011000010110111000100000010000010110111001111001011000100110111101100100011110010010000001001000011001010110110001110000001000000100110101100101001011100010111000101110001011100010111000001101000010100000110100001010010011010110010101110011011100110110000101100111011001010010000001000101011011100110010000101110 Current Mood: 01001100011011110111001101110100 Current Music: 01000010011001010110010101110000 (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
8:50 pm	End From this point on, all posts on this blog well be put as friends only.  I'm fucking sick of having to deal with the worry that other people are reading my journal and me not knowing, thats what I get for using the internet I guess. Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: Pink Floyd - on the run (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 7th, 2004
10:49 pm	Echoed from Eternity I've always been a quote fanatic, I write down some or memorize them when I see them, but this one seems to suite the moment best, from Elinore Roosevelt (Also featured from an old Taproot CD) "Yestderay was history, Tommorow is a mystery, Today is a Gift." (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 24th, 2004
11:00 pm	Family, pot, and Karma Fucking AOL, I try talking to Christa and it fucking kicks me off *sigh* Not the greatest of days, I wanted to go out with Christa to the bowling alley but I felt completely like shit and didn't have a ride.  I swear, karma must have it out against me, every time I try talking to her online or she says something one of us gets disconnected or some shit like that. My brother's constant smoking got my room smelling like pot.  I have a feeling all my Johnny The Homicidal Maniac comic books are all going to start smelling like that... that's what I get for trying to be nice I suppose Looking back, I really don't know why I try to be nice to every, one time I thought it paid off... I remember one quote that summed it up perfectly "Karma seems to come to you right when you need it, but it also has it's way of biting you in the ass to remind you not to get too high on it".  I mean, even yesterday I was nice to that redneck (see below two entrys) and he still got on my ass.  Why should I even bother... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Tool: Lateralus (Holy Gift Mix) (Comment on this)
2:58 pm	In My Nothing I don't know what the hell is wrong with my but obviously something is.  I haven't been feeling well ever since I woke up, I have a splitting head ache and just feel like shit all and all.  CW recorded for Craptain Jack and the Shmees live or something like that last night, he said it sounds really good, professional even.  So I guess that's good that he's feeling happy and what not. Tried mixing and had a great idea in mind but I just suddenly lost interest in it.  What's the use in it if I'm not going to show anyone anyways?  Same with my guitar, I'm not good at it and everyone thinks I'm godly at it *sigh*.  Meh, I couldn't stop playing my guitar, it's like a way of outputting and explaining myself.  Even thoe there's nobody around I just let myself out, and today I can't even play right. I'm getting dizzy. Current Music: Smashing Pumpkins: Tonight, Tonight (Comment on this)
1:46 am	I Wanna Watch It Fall Down So, after a while I decided to goto the bowling alley with Brit again, two of my friends decided they were going for one round so I accepted the ride and stayed around with them till 12.  Within that nice little period of time I met with a redneck who considered me satan and a goth, "omg!  He has a black shirt on!" Goddamn these people need to get out more.  I used the "Are you a redneck" line on him.... he said "huh?"  After him constantly picking at me, calling me a devilworshipper and what not, I figured I'd play into his little world and started following him around with some Orange coke I bought and kept asking him "Do you want some of my juice" in a monotone.  Meh. I got to see Eric and Michael again, we goofed off a bit. Brit had a few more discussions about me opening up, It's very nice and I appreciate it all, but I like things as is. Current Mood: Tired (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
7:10 pm	Fatalist I just got off the phone with Brittney again, it started as just a regular call about asking for a number. Of course, out of nowhere the subject changed and she got all worried about this upcoming school year. The thing about Brit is; she's a fatalist, she pretty much depends on fate to guide her through her life it seems. Every year or so she leaves school a few months through around the EXACT time as the year before. She depends on the boyfriend she currently has to connect to friends or people to hang out.... I dunno, it's just starting to fucking piss me off how she just throws everything I say away and not even consider try telling her. You don't need to base your life around a constant cycle that can't be changed, you don't have to live life with rules and boundries that you set up to apply to the cycle, and god damn it; open your mind up. I love you like a sister and everything, but listen to me god damnit. What the hell else am I pissed at.... let's see... Still holding a grudge with the school principal Tommy Layne for yelling at me on the last day of school in front of all my friends and what not for trying to help him. The end of his speach was, keep the usual redneck accent in mind "Boy, You Don't Know Nothin'", christ, other than that being utter stupidity, he used a double negative. Good job jackass. Closed minded dipshits that protest against a religion on streets and hating another religion just because the mass media tells them to is some the worst. A few months ago somebody on Neoseeker posted something like "Islam, hostile in their own words" and quoted various places in the Quran out of context and DEFINITLY doctered up to make it sound horrable. Of course, everybody agreed and became anti-Islam until me and a few other people stood up for the minority. And, of course, they played the offense saying "Name one Islam charity." Easy, everybody of the Islam faith. Unlike Christianity, it is a pillar of the Islam religion to give charity to those more deserving, DIRECTLY to that person most of the time, taking out the bastard middlemen that you see on those Christian commercials, asking to give a dollar for a kid a day. Now, lets tally that all up. $365 a person a year... Now, say there's a million or so people contributing, which there DEFINITLY more than that. $365,000,000 dollars, pretty impressive that they're helping out that much, but lets take a look at the fine text, 25 percent of your dollar is taken out of what you give and goes to a Christian company. So, $91,250,000 goes to that company, presuming that only a million people donate. This is all tax deductable.  A&E did a small show on this, most of the money is given to one guy, he's the guy you always see him on TV holding people's heads saying "HEAL" or some bullshit like that, people donate millions of dollars to this man ALONE seperatly for "healing" them...  He planned to build a giant cathedral in South America about 15 years ago to keep people from wondering what he's doing with all that money, of course, it's "Delayed".  This man definitly has more money than Bill Gates, I'm guessing he has about a trillion by now in some sweedish bank acount, or what he has in the States is ALL tax deductable because of some technicality bull shit.  Fuck, I'm going to paint. Power.  Greed.  Corruption. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Requiem For A Dream: Theme; Pink Floyd: The Wall (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
8:36 pm	A Stepping Stone Ever since about last year or so, I've wanted to be a music engeneer, producer, technician or anything to do with working inside the studio or the box at a live show.  I've asked a few questions to places such as Full Sail, but nothing has inspired me as much as today.  Out of randomness I decided to email Leo Herrera of Nine Inch Nails fame.  An hour later he came with a reply: Smoke11027, the best advice that I can give you is look into a Technical school, like Full Sail, for example.....Full Sail is by far the best school for it....but from what I heard the most EXPENSIVE as well.... many of the interns that we hired to work at the studio, come from there and they all say the same thing....It's a great school, but way to much money..... look into the Recording Work Shop in Arizona, there is another school that I can't think of the name right now, but it's in Tennesse.... College/Universities are also a great place, but if you really want to become an Engineer, why sit through 4 years of Humanities and other non-sense classes.... It would be a great idea to have some musical back ground as well....like guitar, piano or anything like that....It would help you in the end..... Remember that Engineering still an art form.....and there are way to many "engineers" that have no clue of what they are doing.....they have computers (pro-tools) to help them out.... Don't rush into the first program (school) that you look into....due some reasearch.....the more HANDS-ON experience the better..... Good luck, LEO HERRERA Chief Engineer Nothing Studios It may not seem like anything to you, but those small bits of advice from someone I admire means A LOT.  I've been trying to find a way to contact Arizona Recording Workshop, but I haven't been able to find a website or a phone number.  So for tonight I'll be searching through the places talked about, thank you Mr. Herrera, your small words extend towards an infanite universe to me. Current Mood: Inspired Current Music: Nine Inch Nails: The Frail; Head Like A Hole (Comment on this)